I want to be super honest with You in all of my posts. I started to write the following post 2 months ago, but I didn’t post it until now. Of course the first reason is that I have a 3 months old baby – I think that pretty much sums it all up – on one hand – and I don’t have to explain myself why I didn’t share this post sooner; but on the other hand, it’s not the true reason why. I feel like who am I to write about myself, there are so many great blogs out there, and nobody would read what I’m about to share. However I love to write so much – but please bear with me, my English is not the best, but at least I try. When I look straight to my baby’s eyes there is no judgement there. She smiles at me a lot with no apparent reason. I always felt like I have to earn someone’s love. My husband helps with this a lot(!!!!!!!), but that absolute acceptance from my baby is so overwhelming that I often, very often just hold her hands and cry and cry and I thank her that she choosed me as her mother. I feel so honored. I don’t want to hide anymore just because in my past so many people judged me or criticized me. I would love to see this look in her eyes in 20 years from now when she’ll look at me.It would be the biggest reward and success for me if she would be proud to say that I am her mother and I was aways be there for her no matter what.
And so I will share with you my first blog post (which will follow many more):
The ultimate relief – taking the first relaxing bath after giving birth
Oh my God! You have no idea how much I LOVE taking baths.If I could live in a bathtub I totally would. It completely relaxes me like nothing else, well almost nothing else… 😉 But nothing beats a good back massage in my opinion when it comes to relaxing and relief. I love our now 5 weeks old daughter, our little angel so so much, but motherhood is super hard. Physically I am much more exhausted than I thought I would be. The worst part was that by the time when she finally felt asleep and I could take a nap too, I could not sleep, because I was overtired (nowadays it’s much better, thank God).I searched for some sleep music-, or „guided meditation for deep sleep” videos on youtube and those thankfully helped me a lot in those chritical times. Our little baby had really bad colic to the point that in some days – in the bad days – she was up and cried over 12 hours without any sleep whatsoever – while we hold her in our arms.The only time when she didn’t cry when she nursed. So far the hardest days, weeks of my life. The reason was: fennel. It was in my nursing tea, and ironically in the remedies for colicky babies. After I stopped drinking the fennel and we didn’t give her any remedies for gas and colic that contained it – it’s so much better I can’t even tell you, but it’s still pretty hard being with an infant. I have an amazing husband and he helps a lot but I look like and feel like a zombie sometimes.But of course it’s so worth it. She’s amazing, healthy and beautiful to the point when I look at her I feel like she’s too perfect and I can’t deserve to be a mom to such an angel like her. Needless to say I craved a bath for so long. It was almost 5 weeks… and when my bleeding stopped (I waited 2-3 extra days just to make sure) I finally could take a bath, it was heavenly.
I wanted it to be extra special, so I added 3 teaspoons of pink himalayan salt, 3 bags of chamomille tea, 3 dried sage leaves, and about 8-10 drops of lavender essential oil to the water as well. I also lit 3 beeswax candles. And I previously prepared a big cup of magnesium drink – this stuff was my saviour in those earlier days,weeks when my muscles ached, had hardly any sleep, my hormones went crazy – again; and I was constanty overwhelmed and overstressed. It helped a LOT.
When my little one was asleep and my husband was with her at that room I finally took the chance to sit in the bathtub. I’ve gotten so used to the pain, the tiredness and the exhaustion that it was an enormous difference. When I sit in the tub about 20 minutes my husband came to the bathroom with our wide awake little girl, she needed to nurse. I almost get out of the water, but then I thought that my baby should experience this nice, relaxing water not just in her little baby bath tub. I nursed her in the water and to that point it was the most beautiful experience with her. I’m so glad that I followed my gut instinct. It was really a magical time. Oh and the bonus: there was no accident whatsoever – since then we bought some disposable swim nappies after some major accidents. 🙂
Before that she screemed through all of her bath time in the first 2-3 weeks. I always started with an oil massage before baths, but she cryed anyways.We tried different water temperatures, but nothing helped. When she was 4-5 weeks old, she tolerated, I guess. Cryed a little but not as much as before. It broke my heart because I didn’t know why or what we did wrong, I would have loved to see her enjoy the water.
Since then she has been loved bath time. No matter if she takes her bath in her baby tub or with one of us in our bath tub. Almost every weekend my husband or me take a bath with her in her cute green swim diaper. Since then every week I’ve looked forward to take a bath with her. Since then it has became our little weekend wellness tradition, just because I followed my gut back then. I always have to remind myself that it never fails. Never.
UPDATE: We don’t bath together from months now, she’s too excited and moves way too much, but I’ll always be grateful for those moments.